I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
