She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
