Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you would pick up someone in the library
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
