Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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