Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
