Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
