Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
