dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
