now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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