wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
