I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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