do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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