and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
