either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
