whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
