At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
