He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
