After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
