Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just high enough for therapy.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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