so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i think my mom watched the whole time
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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