quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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