Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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