you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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