i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
