I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
