you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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