I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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