My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
