I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
