well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
