i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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