she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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