I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
