i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
