...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
