so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
