If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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