Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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