When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
fuck your aforementioned shoe
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
