that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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