angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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