I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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