To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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