why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
