My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Two words: blizzard sex
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
