I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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