Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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