Apparently you make a good broom.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
