when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
