i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
