I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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