I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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